Hell Girl

If you’ve been reading some of my stuff, you’ll know by now that there are a lot of things out there in the manga-verse that I love. I’m more than happy to overlook one or two shallow technical flaws in a story if the overall effect leaves a good lasting impression. However there are things I won’t abide by. Things that I won’t stand for. Things that are a personal affront to me as a human being. And taking something that’s beautiful and turning it into something that reminds me of teen-magazine-angst is one of them. Get ready for the sheer horror ( not in the scary way ) of the Hell Girl manga.

Look at her. Just…look. In my opinion, Miyuki Eto took the wonderfully picturesque and captivating artwork of the Hell Girl anime, lit it on fire, stomped it out and then proceeded to draw little stick figures with smiley faces all over it. All right it’s no secret, I hate, hate shojo manga with a passion of a thousand burning suns. What made Hell Girl the anime so enjoyable for me was the mix of all the visual and audio elements along with the admittedly repetitive storyline. The artwork. The music. It was very pretty to watch. This eased the slow transition between short stories during the main run of the show to the actual plot towards the end. Here? There’s none of it.

Miyuki’s Hell Girl is nothing more than stories of teenagers being mean to each other. There’s almost no element of horror at all. The punishment for those being sent to Hell, while visually appealing in the show, lacks all depth and excitement on paper. Seriously, who knew being killed and sent to Hell could be so boring in black and white? Not the mention everyone’s eyes take up a major portion of their face. There’s no stunning musical climax when Hell Girl finally appears to whisk them away. It’s all just rather…dull. No, dear readers…I just don’t have it in me to forgive someone who took something so stunning and warped it into something so mediocre. I could barely get past the first two volumes without feeling like I was being violated in the eyes with a large, rusty needle that was just shared between two people with the clap.

The Hell Girl manga has no redeeming qualities. Anything that could have captured the reader’s attention is obliterated with the silly and overbearing artwork that makes sending yourself to Hell actually appealing. At least you wouldn’t have to look at this garbage any more. Look, just buy the DVDs. Trust me, the difference is like eating a nice bowl of Captain Crunch and being buried upside down in a ditch filled with large unattractive men named Philip who want to dance with you. You deserve better than this, dear reader. Yes. Even you.