tell me wat you think about it Dark shine high!!

Submitted by emonath on Wed, 02/27/2008 - 13:29

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tell me wat you think i wrote this this mornin lolDark Shine High!!based in a high school called Dark Shine there is 6 main charcters that noramly don't see eye to eye but they most become friends to help the school as there is werid things that happen every night .such as monsters, demons, ghosts, gouls and the white shine leader just might wont the students to help him in his path to take of the planet of Kessene.yes this school is for students who have dark shine powers but there not the bad guys unless they use there powers in the wrong way and turn there powers in to the white shine.anyways the school only take on students who have the dark shine oral this is the heart of there powers but not all the students know there true kick ass powers as they are different for anyone as u can have the power of fire, ice, water, earth, mind, sword or the spear and it depens on the students oral as it will come to them in different way so not all the students know what there true power is.so what will ur power be! Characters Ruki (aged 18)Sukio (aged 16)Osamu (aged 17)Li Li (aged 16)Mei (aged 17)Himiko (aged 19)Master Yi (N/A)White Shine Lord Liang (N/A) (evil)Diao (N/A) (evil)Liu (N/A) (evil) Characters detailsRuki: he is 18 and he is very smart and always well dressed and is very shy when it cmes to girls but will Mei change that, he is 5ft 10" with jet black hair and his dark shine power is mind as he is smart and he doesnt no yet but soon can mind conrtol and move objects also Sukio is his little sister they have always bin there for one and other ever from there mother died there he was 4.Sukio: she is 16 and she looks up to her big as he is the only 1 that as looked after her but will she always think like that, she is not as smart as her older brother but she will stronger than him he dark shine power as she is the strongest in the group is fire and soon will be able to control fires, and she has a inner power the power of the dragon which ones was the keeper of the sky will she use it for good or evilOsamu: he is the last and youngest of the boys but what he lacks in age makes up for in skill with the sword and spear he is the stongest in head to head combat but not in the group as he thinks he is the strongest in the group. is very big headed and always thinks he is the best at everthing and doesn't get on with Ruki.Li Li: she is the youngest of the group as she truned 16 two days before she went to Dark Shine High she is a bit oh a out cast of the group and she is very quiet and is very good freinds with ruki but am sure she wonts to be more, her dark shine power is the power of water and soon can call upon the seas to help and also maybe floods or even drouths.Mei: she is the possative and warmhearted and she secrtcly loves Ruki but she thinks that he is in love with Li Li as they are very good friends but she knows Li Li wonts to be much more, she is 17 and will always try and take the most mature path every time, her dark shine power is the power of earth she can cause earthquakes rock falls and even trun in to the spirt of the forset.Himiko: she is the oldest of the group and is very pretty but is there inmature and some times acts like the youngest of the group she is always very loud and very spoiled by her rich parents but she can't have everythin she wants but she has got cold blood and a kiss of ice and she cant always control herself to use her powers as she is not there mature, her power is ice and can call a blizzard or maybe even freeze u if she wants to.Master Yi: he is the teacher at Dark Shine and has mastered every dark shine power there is to learn as he teaches the students at the school and once was in the same class as the White Lord and they was very good friends but took different paths in life as Master Yi choice to teach people to learn the dark shine in the way of good, he is unknow to everyone and noone hows there he was born or came from.White Shine Lord Liang: this is the white lord the leader of the white shine and is the most powerfulest person or demon every to walk upon the land of Kessene believed to be half human half demon, he has many demons, ghosts, ghouls, monsters and even humans under his command but his two main officers are Diao and Liu.Diao: this is a office of the White Lord she is very beautiful and is excelling in the martail arts and unrivaled in archery she is known to be a little reckless.Liu: this human/demon is highly trusted by the White Lord this half human half demon is a mster of the sword and spear and has never lost a battle but also is the White Lord master of strategy. hope u enjoyed readin this!!!!

??

Submitted by yoshimitsu23 on Wed, 02/27/2008 - 13:51

did you come up with this by yourself....ifso damn your good..i loved reading it.can you right more.....please?"people do not need violence to solve there problems."

hell yer

Submitted by emonath on Wed, 02/27/2008 - 19:21

yer i realy did its the 1st 1 ive ever wrote 2 of and yer i would write more or even different ones so u really did like it

wow that's sooo cool we

Submitted by chibimaruko on Thu, 02/28/2008 - 09:07

wow that's sooo cool we want more!!

thank you

Submitted by emonath on Thu, 02/28/2008 - 09:14

thanks you for the relpy of ans sorry no more till tomorrow so you liked it then

...

Submitted by yoshimitsu23 on Thu, 02/28/2008 - 11:14

i thank anyone would.your amazing at wrighting.why don't you go public.i'm behind you all the way if you do.please right more...i would love to read it."people do not need violence to solve there problems."

1 thang

Submitted by yoshimitsu23 on Thu, 02/28/2008 - 11:10

i have one thing to say......sweeeeeeeeeeet."people do not need violence to solve there problems."

Episode 1 the meeting

Submitted by emonath on Wed, 02/27/2008 - 23:34

Dark Shine High Episode 1"The Meeting" it's 09:30 on a november morning it's snowing outside and as a gust of wind passes a old man walking down the road some snow falls of some surroundin trees then the old man stops and looks up and a bedroom window and walks down to the front door and knocks.there stand a fithteen year old girl in a dressing robe the old man asks to come in so the girl lets the old man in from out of the cold .the old man walks in and makes him self at home the young girl looks surprisedLi Li: hey what do u think your doingthe old man just looks at her and laughs.Li Li: w..whats so damn funny and what do u wontOld Man: oh nothing i want you to go and get dressed and then i will tell u why i am here.Li Li: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!the old man looks at the the girl in shock and rises his right hand and mubles to herOld Man: Go and get dressed then he lowers his hand and next second the girl starts walking upstairs to get dressed(5 minutes later)Li Li walks down the stairs dressed Old Man: thats better now sit down Li LiLi Li: Who are you, how do you know my nameOld Man: i am Master Yi, Master of Dark Shine High and i now everything about you Li LiLi Li: what..what do u now about me howMaster Yi: becasue i been watching you very closely Li LiLi Li: Oh my god your a perv aren't you get out my house right this second or i will throw you out myself.Master Yi just sits there and looks at Li Li Li Li jumps to her feet and goes to grap Master Yi then Yi uses his mind push and pushes Li Li back on to the chair.Li Li: Ochies that hurt, What why cant i move,What are you doing to me.Master Yi: i have a power too Li Li, you didnt think you was the only one did youLi Li: what do you mean a power Master Yi: i no when you feel sad it rains and when your angry the seas are unclam i can help you learn how to use this power of your, you see am the teacher of Dark Shine High and the school isn't for any normal students it's for speical students such as yourself.Li Li: you mean there are more people like meMaster Yi: why yes i believe we have 91 students at Dark Shine now an...Li Li: SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE JUST TO TELL ME THERES MOVE PEOPLE LIKE ME, AND LET ME GO NOW!Master Yi: ok i will let you go and no the real rense why am here is to ask you to come to Dark Shine and learn your true power adn why you have it so will you come with me to Dark Shine.Li Li: i don't know how can i trust you how do i now that your not goin to kid nap me Yi: hahaha kidnap you why would i do that hahaha oh and you can trust me so what do you say.Li Li: ermmmm i don't knowYi: Ok i will let you diecide and if you diecide to come just go to this place.Master Yi stands up and leaves Li Li a card on the table by the door then opens the doorYi: I hope to see you very soon Li LiMaster Yi puts his pipe in his mouth and walks off in to the cold street just as he walks out of the door Li Li slams the door and runs to her room(2 day later 20:23 6th november)Li Li is in her room looking at the card Master Yi left herLi Li: there is more people like me so i wasnt the only one i wonder why he has been watchin me..hmmm i dont no what if he is lieinthere is a call from down stairs its Li Lis mother Luo Luo: Li your dinner is ready Li Li: ok am comingLi Li just the card on her bed and runs down stairs nearly falling down them and sits at th tableLuo: there you go LiLi Li: thanksLi Li graps her food and eats it as fast a she can.Luo: you most of bin hungryLi Li: yep thank youLuo: Li dont you want to talk about your day.Li Li: no not really i just want to go to bed mother.Li LI runs up stairs and into her bedroom and slams her door before her mother can shout good night thenshe picks up the card and looks at it againthe card readsDear Li LiI really do hope you diecide to come to Dark Shine to learn the true meaings of your powersIf you do diecide to come wait at the bus stop 2 block north of your house at 21:00 on the 7th Just bring a spare pair of clothes and pen we will give you everthing elsehope to see you soon Li Li From Master YI Li Li: its the 7th tomorrow should i go or not?Its the 7th the time is 20:15Li Li is writeing a letter to her mother saying mother i have gone to Dark Shine High to learn about my powers its hard to explain but i will when i find out how to explain dont worrie i will be safe and well looked after i love you Li Lishe packs her back and puts the note on her pillow and looks at the clock 20:27she climbs out of her bedroom window and goes to climd down the side of her house there she slips and falls in to the snow on the yardLi Li: Ochies i hope noone heard thatshe stands up and rubs the snow off her bum and runs to bus stop 2 blocks down the roadLi Li: i hope am not latejust then the bus comes around the corner Li Li takes one last look at the road she just ran down and gets on the busshe looks around to she if Master Yi or if anyone else is on the bus then she hears a guy and girls voice coming fom upstairs of the bus she goes up stairs to see who it is.Li Li: hey am Li Li she says to the guy and girl girl: hey am Sukio and this is my brother RukiRuki: h..hey nice to meet you Li..Li Sukio: Sorry he is really shy when it comes to girlsRuki: Oi you shut up no am not shy with girlsRuki starts to blush and trun red Li Li starts to laugh Ruki just sits there and carrys on workin on his laytopSukio: So are you goin to join Dark Shine High to.Li Li: Yep i didnt no if to come or not Ruki: i was like that the first time i was goin to go but it really good there am in my second year Sukio: Oh My God big brother thats the first time you have never paused when saying something to a girlRuki: NO ITS NOT AND AM NOT SHY OF GIRLS OK!Sukio: haha ok so how old are you then Li LiLi Li: sixteen i just truned three days ago what about youSukio: am..Ruki: am eigthteenSukio: i was speaking am sixteen to Li Li Ruki and Sukio: is it ok if we call you Li Li Li: yer sure its what me mum calls me there is a call from down stairs its the bus driverBusDriver: Oi you kids we are at Dark Shine now so get ur backsides off my busRuki: come on we bet get movingSukio: bloody hell he is abit of a moody assLi Li : hahahaha yer he isAll three of them run of the bus and into the gates of Dark Shine High and there at the gates is Mater Yi he waves to the three to come overRuki: hi again Master Yi Yi: hi Ruki, Li Li and Sukio.There is three other students with Master YiMaster Yi: Ruki, Li Li and Sukio i would like you to meet the other members to your class this is OsamuOsamu: Yo hows it goinMaster Yi: this is Mei Mei: hey thereAs Master Yi introdues them to Mei Ruki's jaw drops to the floor and eye popping out of his headRuki: h.h..h..h..h..hi thereSukio: Sorry he is shy when it comes to girl hahaRuki: NO AM NOT!Master Yi: ok children calm down now, this is the oldest and last memeber of your class this is HimikoHimiko: HEEEEEYYYYY!!!Master Yi: i will leave you lot to get to know each other i expect good things from this class Master Yi Puts his pipe in and wlks of in to the school mumbeling to hisselfSukio: am Sukio am sixteen and Ruki is my brother he is eigthteenRuki: h..h..hey (looking at Mei)Li Li: hey am Li Li and am sixteen to wat about you lotMei: hahaha am seventeen its very nice to meet you allOsamu: Yo dudes am seventeen tooHimiko: HEEYYYY AM NINETEEN!!Osamu winks at Himiko and blows a kissOsamu: hey thereHimiko: hahaha hmmm heyHimiko Walks over to Osamu and grabs himHimiko: if you do that again you will not have any for me to grab you got thatOsamu YES! (in a highy pitched voice)Rest of the group: owwwwww thats got to hurtHimiko skips in to the school singing to herself then Osamu falls to the floor Ruki helps him to his feetRuki: you ok Osamu that look like it hurtOsamu: owwww, yer it did hurt but oh well see she loves meRuki: what why you think thatOsmau: haha she just doesRuki and Osamu walk into the school followed by Sukio, Li Li and MeiSukio: is that girl mad or whatMei: hmmm what did you saySukio: hahaha never mind that. To be contined!

Epiosde 2 "White Shine"

Submitted by emonath on Sun, 03/02/2008 - 02:04

Dark Shine HighEpisode 2"White Shine" it's the 10th novmerber, There is two people walking down a dark hallway the only light is the light given off by the lava and the fires blown all the way down the hallway there are rooms full of people, torture chambers and bodies the two people keep walking down the hallway till they get too two huge doors as they are pulled open by two orcs on the other side the two people carry on walking and go up the stairs at the end there is someone sitting on the thorne just ahead of the peoplePerson 1: Lord Liang i bring news of the scout at Dark Shine High.White Lord Liang: What news do you bring of that place DiaoDiao: Master Yi has got his hands on some more students my LordWhite Lord Liang: Liu what do you think we sould do of this matterLiu: Father i think we should keep the scout there and see what else we can find outLord Liang: Very well is that everythingDiao and Liu: Yes my Lord.Lord Liang: Very well leave meLiu and Diao leave the White Shine Lord Liang's thorne room(mean while in Dark Shine High)there is a knock on a doorMaster Yi: come in its openRuki enters the roomRuki: Master Yi you wanted to speak to meMaster Yi: aaarrr yes i didRuki: may i ask whats it about MasterMaster Yi: It's about your class Ruki Ruki: what of it Master Yi Master Yi: hmm i would like you to be the leader of your class RukiRuki: Me why meMaster Yi: I've choosen you because your the most mature and the oldest apart from Himiko but she does not act like a leader Ruki: o...ok i understand thank you so much Master Yi Master Yi: Ok then we are done here then Ruki close the door behind you Ruki: Yes Master.Ruki leaves the room and closes the door behind him, as he heads towards the dinner hall he walks into Sukio and Mei, not looking there he is going and bumbs into Mei.Ruki: Am so sorryHe Looks at the person he has wlaked into and finding out it is Mei goes bright red and gets sweaty plamsRuki: A...am s...s...so sorry i did..didnt mean t..too.Sukio: bloody hell Ruki spit it out already hahahahaRuki: SHUT UP SUKIO.Mei starts to blushMei: hahahaha it's ok RukiSukio: Soooo where have you been all day big brotherRuki: hmmm what did you saySukio slaps Ruki around the headSukio: i said when have you beenRuki: Owwww that hurt and i went to speak to Master YiSukio: what about??the three of them walk down to the dinner hall as Ruki is tellin them what Master Yi said.Ruki: well he just wanted to ask me to be leader of the classSukio OMG really thats awesome!!!!Himiko over hears Ruki tell them that he is leader of the class and stroms over.Himiko: WHAT WHY THE HELL ARE YOU THE LEADER OF ARE CLASS!! Ruki: W...wh... what do you meanHimiko: You just said that Master Yi asked you to be leader of the class why did he ask you and not meRuki: b..because a..am more .......... MatureRuki closes his eyes and bites his lip ready to be hit by HimikoHimiko: WHAT THATS NOT FAIR BUT AM OLDER THEN YOU!!!Himiko truns around and walks off in a huffRuki opens his eyesSukio: i told you she was mental Ruki: i think your rightMei Yep me too.the three students arrive at the dinner hall and grab some lunch and sit at a table with Osamu, later joined by Li LiLi Li: hey guys can i join youRuki yer sureLi Li face ligths up and runs over to Ruki and sits next to himSukio: hey you two Ruki has somethin to tell youLi Li: Really what is itRuki: can't i tell them laterSukio: No tell them now unless you want the mental one to hear you againLi Li: please tell usRuki: ok ok well before Master Yi wanted to talk to me and....Osamu: whos the Mental onethe group look at OsamuOsamu: Ok never mind then carry onRuki: and he wanted to ask me to be group leader Osamu: is that it Sukio jumps over the table and slaps OsamuOsamu: What the hell was that forRubbing his headLi Li: i think its really good i think you will make a good leaderRuki: thanks Li LiSukio: mental one two o'clockHimiko walks in the dinner hall and as ahe is goin to pass the tableOsamu: Hey again baby hows it goingHimiko: what did you say to meHimiko slaps Osamu across the face and sits down by MeiOsamu: OwwwwwLi Li, Ruki, Mei and Sukio laugh at Osmau with two red hand prints of the sides of his face.Later on that night while the students are a sleep expect Osamu, then there is a noise coming from outside the room, Osamu gets out of his bed and walks to the door and opens it.as he opens the door a dark tall figure runs past in the dark and darts down anthogth hallwayOsamu grads a brom from the coner of the room and chases after to see who it is but as he get to the end of the hall way its nowhere to be seen.Osamu: what the hell was that thing There is a noise coming from above Osamu, as he looks there is red bright red eyesThe dark figure drops down and knocks Osamu to the floor.Osamu jumps up and start to attack the dark figure with the broom he picked up before just as he goes to hit across the head the broom snaps in half in Osamu's handOsamu: Thats not goodHe looks at the figure and throws the rest of the broom at the figure and punches him in the body doing nothing to the figure, he looks up to the bright red eyes and the figure picks Osamu up by the neck, then Master Yi walks around the coner with his pipe in his mouth.Master Yi: Demon put the kid down and be goneDemon: (deep pitched laugh) hahaha very wellthe demon throws Osamu into a wall knocking him out and waking the rest of the students up, as the demon throws Osmau at the wall runs at Master Yi screamingDemon: DIE YOU OLD FOOL!!!!Master Yi stand ther and take out his pipe and puts it in his pocket, Ruki and Himiko run over to Osamu and try to wake Osamu upall the other students are watching the fight between Master Yi and the demonJust then the Demon going to slash the Master down but he steps to the side and blows the demon thought the wall with a inferno ball sending the demon in to the courtyard, all the students cover there eyes from the dust and the wind off the inferno ball, Master Yi walks out of the hole in the wall into the courtyardMaster Yi: Demon be gone and never returnthe demon stands up covered cuts and bloodDemon: hahahahahaMaster Yi looks at the demon and pulls out a katana from his robes and runs at the demon to fast for the demon to react and takes off the demons head in one strike of his blade, as Master Yi puts his blade back a red line appers around the demons neck and starts to drip with blood, the Demon falls to his knees and his head side off and lands on the fall.Master Yi walks back into the school and walks ovther to Osamu, all the students are in shock for what Master Yi had just doneMaster Yi: Osamu can you hear me?there is a fliker of Osamu's eyes and he opens themMaster Yi: Osamu are you okOsamu: where am i?Master Yi: your in Dark Shine High your going to be ok, Rigth the rest of you go back to your rooms now!The rest of the students go back to there dorms and back to bed talking about what happenedHimiko: I hope Osamu is okSukio: I wonder whyHimiko: Whats that meant to meanSukio: Oh nothingRuki: What the hell was that thingMei: i dont no but it was hell uglyLi Li: hahaha yer it was i do hope he is okRuki: anyways we all better get some rest and see how Osamu is in the morning The rest of the students: yer ok night.Just as all the other students go to sleep Himiko gets up out of bed and goes to find Osamu in the nurse wing, and sits and sleeps at the side of his bed.The next morning the class go to see how Osamu isRuki: Hmmm i wonder where Himiko isLi Li: i dont no she might of gone outSukio: Or gone to see Osamu Mei: yer probally hahahathe students arrive at the nurse's wing and find Himiko asleep in the chair near Osamu's bedRuki: hey hows it goin manOsamu: hey am ok just a couple of cuts thats itHimiko wakes up and is in shock noticing the rest of her class around herHimiko: Osamu your awake are you ok!Osamu: see i told you she loved me hahaha (cough cough)Himiko: me love you hahaha dont make me laughSukio rolls her eyes Sukio: so why did you come here then last night Himiko: because i wanted to know if he was ok.Sukio: is that the only resonHimiko: YES!!!!Himiko gets up and walks out in a mood, just as she leave Master Yi walks inMaster Yi: aaaa Osamu your wake, ermmm students can i talk to Osamu in private pleaseRuki: yer surethe students walk outside and waitMaster Yi: Osamu you was very brave and stupid last night you could of diedOsamu: i know Master am sorryMaster Yi: i believe your close discovering your true Dark Shine power the power of sword and spear, Osamu: really Master YiMaster Yi: why yes Osamu oh and i dont think you need to stay in here any more do youYi and Osamu walk out together and as soon as they step out Himiko's face lights up and then she walks off. To Be Continued!

nice

Submitted by yoshimitsu23 on Sun, 03/02/2008 - 18:47

soooooooo...when is the next chapter???i'm,to tell you the truth,addicted to the storylineand i can't repeat can't get enough of it..."people do not need violence to solve there problems."

im working on it

Submitted by emonath on Mon, 03/03/2008 - 12:01

im working on it as we speak oh and thank you for your comments...i think u are one of me biggest fans

yup yup

Submitted by yoshimitsu23 on Mon, 03/03/2008 - 14:33

i would say i am...and i thank you,i got an idea from that...but the storyline is in japan year 17 A.D..it's main character's names are yoshimitsu the demonz the greatand yamano the hunterthe story is about how yoshimitsu became a demon and his lost memories.i haven't came up with a name to this story yet but i have the first 5 chapters done...it's in my openion very violent.if anythang i wood say its a 5.5 out of 10...yours is a 12 out of 10 so it doesen't compare to yours...so what do you thank??"people do not need violence to solve there problems."

coooool

Submitted by emonath on Tue, 03/04/2008 - 14:19

that sounds really really good i would defo read it if it you put it on the site and i love animes with voilence and set in the pest with demons and stuff like that sounds awesome you should put it up on the site some time

will do

Submitted by yoshimitsu23 on Tue, 03/04/2008 - 20:44

i just have to put it in word format."people do not need violence to solve there problems."

wow a new episode

Submitted by chibimaruko on Sun, 03/02/2008 - 07:48

that's not a long wait at all... enjoying reading it keep it up!! it would be nice if you can post the new chpater as a new post :) easier to follow and look for in the forum as well

wow a new episode

Submitted by chibimaruko on Sun, 03/02/2008 - 07:48

that's not a long wait at all... enjoying reading it keep it up!! it would be nice if you can post the new chpater as a new post :) easier to follow and look for in the forum as well